Confessions of a makeup hoarder.

Those of you who have been readers of this blog for a while now, (silent or otherwise), will know that I have spoken many a times about the need for change and not buying more makeup - but this time it's a different kind of change. Let me explain. In the past, I've always set myself makeup spending bans, because my collection was growing and having a small disposable income, with not a lot of expenses meant I was able to treat myself almost monthly. The student discounts were also a convenient reason for me to splurge whenever I felt like it and lets be honest, becoming a beauty bloggers and consuming beauty related content daily definitely didn't help. I'd then essentially BINGE on buying more and more, spending a small or large amount of money and then spend the next couple of days either shrugging at the lack of savings in my account, or actually feeling pretty bad that I had managed to treat myself....again....and for what?

I was using shopping, splurging, treating myself, buying, materialism as a way to cope with stress, with being unhappy, as another form of procrastination and as an excuse for blogging too. Do you need to buy new things every month to blog successfully? Of course not! Even as a beauty blogger you don't, and if you reach a substantial following number then eventually you'll start being sent all the new stuff and it'll just become part and parcel of your daily routine and job - excuse the pun. Me on the other-hand, I was a student of psychology, and then I was a trainee teacher, so what reason did I have? Why did I keep indulging in online shopping? Why did the spending fail to stop? I guess I've outlined some of the key reasons already, shopping was becoming an unhealthy coping mechanism.

(If you're wondering how you can blog about beauty, without buying new stuff all the time, just try to be more creative with what you've got already. If you've reviewed your favourite foundation from the high-end, do a comparison of it with a cheaper brand. Or put it under different conditions, test how it wears depending on powder, primer etc. etc.)

Now fast forwards 2 years, I am a 22 year adult with a real proper job, earning 4 figures a month Alhamdulillah. I have a MUCH larger amount of money to spend frivolously, but all I can think, as I look around me is; my goodness am I overwhelmed with ALL the stuff I've gathered, collected, loving storing away in the past five years. Whilst starting my blog was easily one of my best life decisions, I can't lie and say that this part of it has made me feel good. That temporary excitement when I opened a parcel, or put yet another NARS blusher inside my precious muji storage had faded. On the one hand I had just started my little passion project: my very own youtube channel and I knew that talking about the latest things and keeping up with whatever is 'trending' is how I would really grow a following, but on the other hand, I was FED UP with squandering my money away to buy product after product, have bottles of things piling up and gathering dust and ultimately a pretty sparse bank, account despite me putting in hours and hours of work into my real job and my blogging hobby.

So when the xmas holidays were almost over and we had got the end of 2017, amongst many things going through my mind at the time, the first was HOW I could get out of this mentality and lets be honest - lifestyle, without quitting the social media world altogether. I'm not going to lie, I spend a LARGE chunk of my time on SM, mainly snapchat (before that hideous update), twitter, youtube and instagram. And I'm not ready to quit it or leave it behind. For me personally, there are far too many pros that outweigh the cons. I also didn't want to place myself on another ban, because they just don't work for me! Spending bans were becoming the same vicious 'refrain - succeed - cave in - binge - repeat' cycle, that so many people experience when they do on fad diets in order to lose weight. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. And thats when I came up with the idea of having a monthly makeup bag, and wait before you roll your eyes, I know I KNOW it's nothing revolutionary - or even particualrly interesting. But it solved so many issues that I had and 1.5 months in, I can happily report back that I am loving it.

Not only am I loving it, but I have also spent around £10 on makeup in the past £6 weeks, which is genuinely the smallest amount I've ever spent on the stuff in the last 5 years. Crazy. See what has happened is I am so focused on:

A. Using up the products in my bag for the month
B. Testing these products to really get a good idea on how they work and if I'd bother repurchasing

that I have VERY little interest in adding more to my collection. And every single time I am reaching the end of a product, and essentially getting my hard earned money's worth - I get a much bigger thrill of happiness, than I do when it comes to opening new makeup. Which is kinda bizarre for me, but that need to own more, to have the newest thing, to 'treat myself', has now diminished. And whether you're on SM yourself or not, if you are finding yourself in a similar rut of buying fruitlessly - I highly recommend you do something similar.

I think I've gone on for long enough, so I'm going to leave you with my video now:

I talk about the items I selected for my January bag, what I liked, what didn't work and more. I also did a mini demo of each item, because instead of doing a tutorial (which I'm no where near good enough to do imo), I wanted to stick to my roots of blogging and reviewing....and thats why its a longer video that usual!

And no, I'm not claiming to have invented some super unique idea, I'm sure it has been done before! But I just wanted to share with you all, how I've been feeling lately and what has been helping me out. Also this is not to say that I won't be buying more makeup in 2018, of course I will! I'll just have to really really like the product before I pick it up in order to justify it to myself. Here is to saving up more money, for more adventures, rather than just more makeup 🙏🏽

Do you manage to use up makeup products? Or are you a hoarder too?

Thank-you for reading ♥

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Confessions of a makeup hoarder.

Those of you who have been readers of this blog for a while now, (silent or otherwise), will know that I have spoken many a times about the need for change and not buying more makeup - but this time it's a different kind of change. Let me explain. In the past, I've always set myself makeup spending bans, because my collection was growing and having a small disposable income, with not a lot of expenses meant I was able to treat myself almost monthly. The student discounts were also a convenient reason for me to splurge whenever I felt like it and lets be honest, becoming a beauty bloggers and consuming beauty related content daily definitely didn't help. I'd then essentially BINGE on buying more and more, spending a small or large amount of money and then spend the next couple of days either shrugging at the lack of savings in my account, or actually feeling pretty bad that I had managed to treat myself....again....and for what?

2018 Goals

 Hi all, I hope you're doing well. 2018 is here and its time for my annual goal post, which to be quite honest, I publish for myself. I mean sure, if it encourages or inspired any of you then I'm very happy about it ^_^ but by putting them onto my blog, it kind of holds me accountable for it and in the past I've done mid-year reviews on them too, which helps me to stay on track! This year I've been able to plan my goals in an even more organised way, thanks to my beautiful new planner...and I've had a couple of questions about it so I'm going to be sharing it in tomorrows post. I love planners, stationary, notebooks. It's definitely my second favourite hobby and you might know that if you've already watched my papergang unboxing.

Anyway I digress, this post will have the majority of my goals, there are a couple of personal ones I won't be typing up but lets hope I can work on them ALL consistently.

Personal Goals

1. Cut down on impulse spending (food AND makeup)
It was actually a little bit scary when I sat down in the holidays and totalled up my spending over the month. Yes it was sales galore and I'm always one for a bargain, but what shocked me the most was actually the amount of money I splashed around in supermarkets. £15 here, £25 there and suddenly a whole wad of cash built up, just like that. I'm lucky, I don't need to buy lunch for weekdays as teachers get to eat free in the lunch hall - but for breakfasts, coffees and snacks I do like to have my own classroom stash. This year however I'm definitely going to be either taking out cash and not using my card at all, in order to stick to my budget, or possibly just online shopping! What works for you? In terms of makeup, I won't go into it too much, but stay tuned on my channel to see what I'm trying to do throughout the year...fingers crossed it works 😅.

2. One line of Quran and Salah
So often I've typed that I want to increase my spiritual attachment with Allah and honestly what steps have I taken towards it? I can scroll through mindless social media for hours on end, watch netflix and youtube without realising where the hours go by. And it actually makes me quite upset how distant I have become from my deen. I can think of several reasons why, but in reality they are not good enough. They're all excuses. So I want to start off slow, yet steady. A line a day takes a minute at the most and when I set myself a target like this, realistically I'll be able to read a lot more, cause sometimes the hardest part is just beginning.

3. Start earning a little more from SM
This has never really been a goal for me before, so it excites me that I can now set it as a target for myself. Alhamdulillah I have a proper job now, a career in fact and so money is not something I need. However, seeing the potential to earn from the hard work put into social media opens up a world of possibilities. 2018 marks the fifth year that I started this blog and earning more than a tenner a month, to put towards my equipment, my channel and my blog would be fantastic. I don't know if it'll happen, but I'm putting it on my metaphorical vision board and speaking it into existence ^_^


Health and Fitness

4. Maintain my current weight
I think this is the first time I've refrained from writing 'go to the gym consistently', or something along those lines. Since I've been working full time for a whole term, I've realised that for me personally the gym is just not something that I can fit into my life at the moment. I am simply too exhausted from the daily responsibilities and routines of being a teacher, to then properly work out afterwards. And believe me I have tried! But when I got to the gym, I just felt completely unmotivated. Another reason is because I work in a two storey building and I'm continuously going up and down stairs, with heavy bags too. So because of this alone I already feel fitter and...also I'm just really happy with my current weight (not that I know the exact figure). But I've lost some chub, I look slim enough without feeling too skinny for me personally, so my 2018 goal is just to maintain it!


Work & career

5. Pass my NQT year with flying colours
One term down, two to go! So I don't know how many people know this, but you have to actually pass your newly-qualified year in order to become maintain your status of a qualified teacher and you have 5 years from receiving your QTS certificate in order to do that. The start of my year so far has been going well, some challenges here and there but nothing too difficult Alhamdulillah and I'm just praying I'm able to pass with success.


6. Get a grasp on my workload
This is somewhat related to the above, but in order to be able to pass I really need to find a way to work smart. That's kind of my 2018 motto - work smarter, not harder. Because I HAVE worked really hard and I've proven myself capable of achieving what I set my mind too, so I know I can do it. However theres got to be a smart way of organising my self and my time, so that my to-do list gets shorter and I still maintain a balance! There just has to be, and I'm really going to do my best to figure it out.

And those are my 6 goals for twenty-eighteen! Have you set goals or resolutions this year? Please share, I'd love to know ^_^

Thank-you for reading ♥

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2018 Goals

 Hi all, I hope you're doing well. 2018 is here and its time for my annual goal post, which to be quite honest, I publish for myself. I mean sure, if it encourages or inspired any of you then I'm very happy about it ^_^ but by putting them onto my blog, it kind of holds me accountable for it and in the past I've done mid-year reviews on them too, which helps me to stay on track! This year I've been able to plan my goals in an even more organised way, thanks to my beautiful new planner...and I've had a couple of questions about it so I'm going to be sharing it in tomorrows post. I love planners, stationary, notebooks. It's definitely my second favourite hobby and you might know that if you've already watched my papergang unboxing.

Goodbye 2017

It is currently 6:18am and I am feeling incredibly nostalgic about the year that we've just had. In some ways it flew by, but when I scroll through my camera-roll and my instagram account I realise how much has actually happened. 2017 was the year I trained to become a teacher and graduated with 'outstanding'. It was also the year that I managed to secure my first real adult job, earning enough to be taxed and of course most importantly having my own class of children to teach!


Teaching
This has been the aspect of my life which has been the biggest change. I went from being a student myself, to a trainee, to an educator all within a couple of months and it was such a whirlwind! Alhamdulillah I feel so blessed to be able to say that I have achieve my childhood ambition to become a teacher and I am on the whole, really really loving it. However theres a small part of me which wonders if I did dive into this a little too quickly. I had no break between A-levels - uni - working full time and YES we teachers do get a lot of holiday, but it isn't really classified as a proper break, especially the ones between half terms. I'm really enjoying teaching and although it is stressful and tiring, it's actually not as scary as I had imagined during my training year. Will I be teaching solidly for the next decade? Probably not. I think I will definitely be taking a break of some kind, even if thats half a year to travel and get myself sorted and the other half of the year supply teaching. I mean I have to get through my NQT year first! So let me slow down and walk, before I gallop haha, however that is where I'm at with my thoughts on my career. Yes of course your career is important at the age of 22, but I do wonder if this need to be chasing the next goal constantly is really healthy for anyone and I knows its taken a toll on myself, emotionally, spiritually and to a certain extent mentally. I hope I'm not just jabbering out nonsense and that at least one of you will be able to relate!

Youtube + blogging

Starting my channel was another huge life change in 2017 and to some people that might sound ridiculous - life change?! But honestly it was a decision I made after YEARS of building up the courage and confidence to do and it wasn't an easy one to make. However, I am absolutely loving it. It's no secret that I was becoming pretty complacent with my beautiful little website that I genuinely love. This corner of the net is where it all began when I was just 18, and now 4 years later I can say I have video content to go alongside it. I'm not going to make promises about how often I will be blogging - it would be easy to set unrealistic targets just after x-mas, when I still have a whole week off from work and the business of full time teaching actually seems pretty far away! However I do want to still continue and I am going to carry on planning posts for here and hopefully, eventually crossing them off my to-do list. I will be most active on youtube now, at least for as long as I can be...but sometimes theres nothing like properly writing out your feelings, with your feet up and your hair tied in a messy bun!


Self-image and confidence
I was looking over my goals that I set in January 2017 and one of them was 'to lose my muffin top'. I have to say, getting the flu at the end of this term was probably the best thing to happen to my muffin top, because I had zero appetite and couldn't eat even a quarter of the amount of junk food I usually consume. Honestly I think I've realised that the gym life is not compatible with my full time work schedule - I'm too demotivated and exhausted to drag myself there after work and the weekends are now filled with either sleep, marking, catching up with loved ones and more sleep! I think this year I've really embraced what I look like, more than ever before and I honestly believe my job has a big part to play in that. Yes I'd like to be a little fitter, but being a role model to the children I teach has genuinely changed my mindset so much. I would hate for any of them to be hung up about how they look on the outside, because the reality is, their character is so much more important and then more times I found myself saying and thinking this, the more I realised that it applied to me too. It's bizarre how the simplest of things, stuff you already know, can suddenly make a whole lot more sense when you're saying it with real sincerity to children half your age.

The importance of reflecting | one line a day memory book
If you're all caught up with my videos (high-five!), then you would have seen an adorable little memory book in my ASOS haul, which is titled 'a line a day'. Though I've always wanted to purchase a book similar to this, I massively under-estimated how much peace and happiness it would bring me. I initially wanted to wait till January the first, but then I just had a change of heart and wanted to document a particular day and it's so odd, how literally writing 2-3 sentences (if that) to summarise the day, my feelings, emotions, a key quote or nice little moment just brings so much content to me. It really makes me feel more collected and calm and already I'm enjoying looking back at the previous days...and I've only been using it for around a week and a half - so you can imagine how awesome it's gonna be to look back in a year or two i'a! Anyways I just wanted to say that it is such a small thing that has really uplifted me and I highly recommend it.

Alright that is enough rambling on from me, I just want to say a massive thanky-you if you're reading this, because that means that you stuck around despite my very infrequent posts. Also if you've already subscribed to my channel - thanks! And if you haven't, I'm going to leave my 2017 high-end favourites as well as a little vlog to give you an idea of the kind of content I'm making. I am CONSTANTLY trying to improve it btw and it really is a massive work in progress, from the lighting to the audio, to how I look and sound...making videos is not as easy as it may seem haha, but it's what is keeping me sane inbetween the constant thoughts about work right now - so I'm going to embrace the creative challenge ^_^

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I plan to be posting a little more than 1-2 times on my little website in 2018! And I really hope you all have the best start to the new year. I'm feeling a lot of different types of ways right now - hopeful, confident, determined, ready for hard work and ready to set myself goals that I am going to strive to achieve in'sha'Allah. I've never felt quite this way before at the end of the year, and although I can't pinpoint quite what it is, I cannot complain ^_^

Thank-you for reading ♥

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Goodbye 2017

It is currently 6:18am and I am feeling incredibly nostalgic about the year that we've just had. In some ways it flew by, but when I scroll through my camera-roll and my instagram account I realise how much has actually happened. 2017 was the year I trained to become a teacher and graduated with 'outstanding'. It was also the year that I managed to secure my first real adult job, earning enough to be taxed and of course most importantly having my own class of children to teach!

Coming to the end of teacher training, graduating and supply teaching

Hello lovely people, welcome back to The Blushing Giraffe. I almost cannot believe I'm finally writing this post, as it is one that has been in the works for a while, but also a topic I (sometimes) felt just wouldn't arrive - teacher training is finally over! And I don't want to say that in an ungrateful way in the slightest, because it has been an amazing journey. However, when they say it is tough - they are not kidding.

Teacher training has been the most gruelling year of my life and I felt just as proud graduating as a qualified teacher, as a I did last year when I actually donned the cap and gown and walked across a stage for my Psychology degree. In many ways I have grown this year, mentally I feel like I am so much more capable of taking on challenges, emotionally I am able to deal with my stress and high pressure environments 20X better than I could at the start of September and lets be really honest - I've grown outwards too. I have definitely put on a couple of KG and I'm struggling with how to even feel about it, perhaps thats for another blog post though.

I kind of covered this in my last update post, so in order to make this a little more useful, I wanted to give you 3 tips if you're coming to the end of your course too. Who knows, reading this now before you start the course could help, but this is more of a post to come back to in around 9 months,  so perhaps book mark it ;D

3 tips for the end of teacher training

1. Don't stress the small stuff
At this point in your training, you will be teaching around the equivalent of an NQT and although it will have been built up it is still a shock to the system. You will be on the go from the start of the day, till that sigh of relief when the last child has met their parent and left the building! But don't let this fool you, because then you have to mark the work from today (sometimes 4 or 5 lessons worthy woopy!), check over plans for the rest of the week and plan resources, tidy up the classroom before the cleaner comes around and do other general paperwork. So YES. There is a lot to do and the days feel very long, especially when it is so hot in the classroom and the kids are getting irritable too! Point being, don't stress the small things, don't worry about the bits that won't matter if you look at the bigger picture. By this point you have to remember that you will have proven a LOT of what you have needed to do to your mentor and in official observations, you just have to keep up the highest standard that you can - without worrying about those tiny niggly things that (don't actually matter too much).

2. Behaviour in the classroom will dip and this is okay
I remember something that was really disheartening for me in the final few weeks, was the behaviour of the children in the class I had worked in for most of the year, really flipped around. Children who were on their best behaviour on the whole, started being silly and making the wrong choices and as for the characters in the class, my goodness it was tough lesson by lesson on some days. Part of this point is the fact that I was training in Year 6 and they get endoftermitus real quick, feeling super excited for Year 7 and just a little bit too big for their boots! However this is a common theme across the school, children are tired and irritable and actually routines completely change because it is all about assemblies, performances and winding down. So despite you working hard on getting the behaviour techniques down and building bonds with the children they will misbehave and it will be frustrating, disappointing and quite overwhelming. It is normal and its the same for all teacher, those who have 1 year of experience and those who have 40+. Whilst getting routines down is excellent, at the end of the day they are children and therefore they sometimes make more mistakes than the average adult! Stay calm, but remain resilient with the way you handle behaviour, sometimes upping it a notch if need be. For example I would start my 'time wasting minutes timer' as soon as they didn't respond to the shaker to stop, therefore they would end up missing part of their break even with a couple of weeks till the end of term.

3. Spend the weekends doing Quam paperwork as often as possible
They may not always be called QUAM, but whatever your teacher training course calls it, that final assessment of you where they see lots of evidence towards the teacher standards, is the most important and it's similar to the dissertation of your degree. It is partly your chance to show off your fantastic achievements throughout the year, but also the time when you have to prove that you are able to meet the standards to a good degree. I think the trickiest part about it is only wanting to show the best of the best, which in some cases hasn't even happened yet, so knowing when to gather the evidence is crucial. I recommend you get a notebook and list out every single teacher standard with the substandards and then leave a box next to it for 'obtained' another space to write what the evidence is and also a box for 'complete'. This is something I wish I had done a lot earlier on, for previous QUAMs because it helped me to be a lot more organised and calm! I hope the quick snapshot below makes things clearer as to what I mean ^_^ Once you've done this, or devised your own similar system, dedicate a good 3-4 hours per weekend going over this because trust me, snapping a photo of some marking you've responded to, or screenshotting your assessment records is the easy bit. Your next job is to explain what the evidence is, how it has impacted the children and how it will impact your future practice. This needs to be done for every single sub-standard at least once, preferably more - don't under-estimate how long it actually takes!


Graduation
We had a small graduation ceremony to mark becoming qualified teachers and it was such a lovely evening, because our mentors and families were all present. Unfortunately by this point I had started supply teaching, so I almost forgot about the ceremony that evening, got ready in a rush and forgot my lipstick D: Which wasn't a great look - ohhhh first world problems, I know! But I'm sure my makeup lovers can relate haha. Aside from being lipstick-less though, it was lovely to finally be able to say 'I'm officially a qualified teacher and all that hard work has paid off!'. It was also so nice seeing the rest of the cohort walk the stage too, especially some of the really sweet ladies who were like our course mums and sisters, always there was an extra sheet and a hug when you felt like it was all getting too much!


Supply Teaching
I made the decision to apply for supply teaching in the May half term, because a teacher who was also working in Year 6 recommended it. As we qualified three weeks before the end of term, it made sense to then start working a little before the summer - both for the experience and for the money! I wasn't sure what it would be like, but phoning the company and setting up a meeting was easy. They asked me to send over a C.V, so I pretty much googled teaching C.V and wrote one up using the application form for my new school to help me. Although getting all the paperwork sorted whilst preparing for QUAM was a bit of a struggle, I'm so glad I did it, because once I was on the system I was sorted for post-grad. Literally the week before I graduated I was offered a school for the whole 3 weeks, which at first wasn't what I was hoping for as I did want to experience different schools and year groups. However my time in Year 2 at this school was so lovely and I have to say it was a big relief to be able to do that because I became familiar with the school within 3 days and got to know the kids pretty well! It was a really interesting experience being in KS1, since I've spent the majority of the year in Year 6 and although there wasn't a LOT of proper learning going on, it still tested my knowledge of phonics as I was doing that daily for two weeks. It was so heartwarmingly adorable to see how quickly 7-year-olds get attached to teachers, despite only being there for 3 weeks, on the last day I got four gifts and numerous cards - including one which said 'I'll kip you in my hart foreva even thoh I'm moving on to big skool' 😭 SOOOO CUTE!

I loved getting paid again after a looooong time and I mostly loved experiencing a different school, key stage and class - seriously I recommend supply teaching to all of you teacher to be, in the final few weeks. An excellent experience for more ways than one. Also I didn't think I would enjoy supplying so much - it's definitely a possible career move for my future now ^_^

By the way, if you ARE about to start your training this September, check out this post here which has three tips for beginners!

I hope you enjoyed this post and mostly found it helpful!

link for lashes here

Thank-you for reading ♥

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Coming to the end of teacher training, graduating and supply teaching

Hello lovely people, welcome back to The Blushing Giraffe. I almost cannot believe I'm finally writing this post, as it is one that has been in the works for a while, but also a topic I (sometimes) felt just wouldn't arrive - teacher training is finally over! And I don't want to say that in an ungrateful way in the slightest, because it has been an amazing journey. However, when they say it is tough - they are not kidding.

Back from my blogging hiatus & a heart to heart

Well hello hello, it has been a VERY long time since I have sat down to properly blog and my what a whirlwind of a couple of weeks it has been! It has almost been over 2 months, which is the longest time I have ever not blogged. And its about time I changed that.

The end of teacher training + supply work

So yes, regular readers of my blog will know that I have come to the end of my course and that is mainly what my time has ben consumed with for the last few weeks. The children in my class had their SATs which is as stressful a time for the staff involved, as it is for the pupils themselves and completely exhausting. Our school then began a surge of big writing and that was tough, especially as my ‘teaching practice’ increased a lot from post Easter. I am planning on doing a whole detailed post to complete my teacher training series with a Q&A section too, but essentially my career and everything that comes with it is why I HAD to take a blogging hiatus. I did once or twice try to blog, but found myself too tired and overwhelmed to produce any quality content and that just stressed me out even more. So yes, the person typing this right now is officially a qualified teacher (or NQT to be precise!) and also a PGCE holder, Alhamdulillah! This means I can God willing teach abroad in the future, which has honestly been a dream of mine for years. It also means that I am currently about to earn some decent mullah as a supply teacher!! Which is awesome. I mean my student job, which was 48-64 hours a month earned me slightly less than 3 days of supply work (equivalent to 22.5 hours). I KNOW. I AM IN SHOCK TOO. Haha. Not to say that being a tutor didn't have its benefits, but to finally be qualified and earning a decent wage from it....well it feels flipping fantastic!


The plan from now and heart to heart
I have to be really honest and say that I am finding it soooo difficult to blog, and for once it's not because I don't have the time. I think partly its cause I am so out of habit, but also I find the blogging world difficult to get back into because the quality of everyone's content it just unattainable! Or at least it feels that way. I kinda feel a bit like a youtuber when i say, I miss the good old days where I could write from the soul and not have to put too much time and effort into the photography for my work to get a decent amount of readers. Again, the blogosphere has become hugely over saturated and perhaps it is only pressure I am putting on myself, but I really hate it. And to be honest, a part of me feels like I've gone through enough pressure and ish with my course and this blog is meant to be my hobby for goodness sakes! So do I need to be adding extra strain onto my plate? No, no I really don't.

I also think, being completely honest, I always used to feel like my content wasn't quite good enough and thats part of being a very imperfect perfectionist! I am going to try my best to just post as and when I can and not worry too much about the aesthetics, with the hope that my loyal readers will continue to support my work. I literally make about £10-£20 from my blog a month, so for me its not ever been about the money LOOL. Ultimately right now I am living my dream life career wise, or at least I'm a couple of weeks away from it and of course my career will always come first cause it means a lot to me. However, I don't for a second underestimate the powerful impact running the blushing giraffe has had for me and the beautiful people I've been able to 'meet', who have made my life better in so many ways. That's the main reason why I still want to keep this minuscule corner of the net alive, I'm not doing it for the numbers, fame and certainly not the money - I just love beauty and I love connecting with genuine and like-minded people. 💖

Now over to YOU, how have you been doing lately?  

Thank-you for reading ♥

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Back from my blogging hiatus & a heart to heart

Well hello hello, it has been a VERY long time since I have sat down to properly blog and my what a whirlwind of a couple of weeks it has been! It has almost been over 2 months, which is the longest time I have ever not blogged. And its about time I changed that.

January 2017 Catchup | Cross-phase

Hello hello everyone, how are you all doing? I can't believe it's already the 4th of February and I'm only just now getting around to typing up this post (but I'll probably edit the date back in a few days and it'll go under the January section of this year anyway haha).

Teacher training update

Oh my goodness, January has been a TOTAL whirlwind! I started off the year at my new school for cross-phase and I went from teaching in year six (10-11 year olds), to teaching year 1 (5-6 year olds). Such a huge constrast and I was super nervous about it because they are just a lot younger, SMALLER and they obviously learn differently. I also had to learn all about phonics and then all about HOW to actually teach it, which was a challenge. However to my absolute surprise, I could not have enjoyed the cross-phase experience more. I have had so much fun teaching younger children and it's actually taught me to not be so apprehensive about new challenges. Their enthusiasm for learning, their laughter when you should them Geraldine the giraffe (a great phonics resource btw! 😝) and their sweet curiosity about everything. It has been an amazing experience, I have just one week left and whilst I doubt I'll be doing my NQT year in year 1, I know I'm not adverse to it completely.

What I have found really tough though, is the amount of time spent on creating resources, and the fact that a one hour lesson plan has taken me 4-5 hours to complete, which is not my cup of tea at all. It has taken over my whole life honestly, I am in school till around 6:30-8pm every night and I am beyond exhausted. Thats another reason why I have really been slacking with my blog, not because I have no content to post or because I don't want to, but because I really just do not get the time.

Lets just say, half term will be a very welcome break haha.

I.G live

Lately I've really enjoyed connecting with my readers through the new I.G live feature. Its essentially a live stream, which at first I was a bit nervous about, but now the more I go on the easier it becomes. I've also really enjoyed doing a GRWM here and there because I don't make youtube videos and really have no plans of starting, but it is I feel a lot more helpful to people who want to know about makeup to be able to see it done on video. SC is a good tool which I used to use a lot, but you can't go in as much detail when you only have a 10 second time slot haha. So yeah I.G live is what I've been using in those spare moments that I DO have any time!

Skin Issues

Can I even say I've been surprised that my skin has been pretty bad lately? No. Of course not. I've been really quite stressed, surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep a day and not having time to really look after myself. I do understand that teacher training year IS intense, but 👆🏽 right here is the reason why I've chosen the photo for this post to be 'you can't pour from an empty cup'. And I really cannot agree more. You can't be the best version of yourself if you're not taking time out for YOU. The amount of times I have fallen asleep half sitting up, with makeup still on my face is ridiculous this month and I am going to ensure that February will be different. Even if that means coming home and going through my skincare routine right away, then so be it. We just have to take care of ourselves ladies and we have to realise that its not being selfish in the slightest. I'm gonna make time for a relaxing bath this month at least twice and also turn off my phone and laptop and just relax PROPERLY. Cause I deserve it, and so do all you busy ladies too😅.

I had my first proper break out this month, which was hard to deal with. VERY first world, I'm aware, but when you've had pretty great skin your whole life its hard to even know what to do. Right now I'm dealing with skin thats healing and I have the new problem of multiple scars - usually I just have the odd one here or there. So I've actually invested in some new skincare, not that my old stuff wasn't working but I want to introduce some steps into my routine which I didn't previous have. The first being fading of scars and the second being anti-ageing, cause in four months I'm turning 22 and prevention is better than cure right? I am totally going to embrace ageing when the time comes and if my skin and genes are anything like my beautiful grandmothers', I think I'll be okay anyways ;D but still. So expect another haul coming your way, talking about a couple of new bits and bobs.

And thats about it for January 2017! It has flown by quicker than I even want to begin to think about, and I have a very tiring but exciting couple of months ahead in'sha'Allah (God Willing!). I have a colourpop trio, top 3, January faves and haul coming up for you and I promise I am going as fast as I possibly can. Thankyou for sticking around and still having a read, its so heart warming to see my daily views haven't completely dropped 😅.

How was your January?

Thank-you for reading ♥

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January 2017 Catchup | Cross-phase

Hello hello everyone, how are you all doing? I can't believe it's already the 4th of February and I'm only just now getting around to typing up this post (but I'll probably edit the date back in a few days and it'll go under the January section of this year anyway haha).

2017 Goals

Hello all! I do apologise for the pretty late post, but I hope you had a great start to 2017🎉. I have been trying to get an assignment done, which is due in a few days so its been a very homey couple of days for me. I also didn't have anything that stood out to me massively that should be a goal for the year, until I sat down and really thought about what I wanted to achieve this year and I managed to six in total.

1. Lose my muffin top! 🍰🏋🏽‍♀️

I have put on a fair bit of weight whilst at Uni and now that I'm out of University, I really want to get my fitness back on track. Whilst I don't really mind being a bit heavier, because honestly when I lose too much weight my face looks gaunt, I would like to lose some of my tummy weight. This sales I found the most perfect Zara mom fit jeans but sadly my tummy meant they didn't fit and the size up wasn't available in store or online :( I should have kept them for my goal weight, but I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. I just want to get fit and active and hopefully lose the muffin top in the process! Sometimes in photos I notice my stomach sticks out more than I would care for, plus I do suffer with a  lot of bloating...only making the issue worse. So heres hoping I get into a good routine in 2017, not just with the gym but with drinking more water and avoiding the sugary stuff too.

2. Wear all the clothes in my wardrobe or pass them on. 🚪

I've noticed that my storage areas have become full to the point of almost bursting recently, but there are definitely items in there which I haven't worn in months. Basically they're just taking up a whole load of space which is very unnecessary, so I'll be a lot more vigilant this year with passing stuff on or chucking it out if its too old.

3. Keep my dressing table relatively tidy. ☀️

I have a long table/storage system in my room, which serves as both a dressing table and a desk. This year I really want to use it as more of a desk, as well as a dressing table so I need to ensure I make the space clear and inviting to actually work on. Plus when the table is clear, it makes a huge difference to the rest of the room and the more I remind myself, the easier this will be.

4. Use up all my backups! 💄

I have got a drawer full of items which are either backups, or things I purchased cheaply from fragrance direct a good year or two ago. Instead of regularly swapping them out and using them, I tend to just leave them be. So this year I want to get through the draw and use my moneys worth! Whilst I won't be imposing any sort of makeup buying fast in 2017, generally I won't be as financially free to pick up whatever. At least for two thirds of the year! So I think its more important than ever to use up the stuff I have. Sometimes I get so tempted to repurchase things I know work well, however its a massive waste of money to have products left unopened at home, whilst I'm buying more and more.

5. Make time to blog 💻

2016 wasn't a great year for blogging for me. I didn't manage to post double digit amounts very often but I don't feel too guilty for that, as it was also a year to work very hard and achieve milestones. However at the second interview for my teacher training course, I was asked about my hobbies and both the head and deputy said how important it was to make time for them. Teaching is a physically and mentally draining job, especially when everything is so new and overwhelming. So this year I really want to schedule more time into my calendar for blogging. I'm not saying I'll get 12 posts up a month, every month. BUT I'm going to try and be a little more consistent!

6. Refrain from buying the odd thing here and there. 💸

What I mean by this is the odd meal deal here, the odd latte there. These things add up more than I realised at the end of 2016 and considering I'm running a car on a limited bursary, I really need to watch where my money goes. The only problem with the school I work at, is its a 30 second drive away from a bunch of fast food and a huge supermarket...which also sells Krispy Kremes! I'm a huge advocate of treat ya self every now and again. But there has to be a limit, otherwise its not a treat its careless money down the drain. I'm a little worried that if I don't break out of this habit before September (when I'll actually be earning money in'sha'Allah!), its gonna stick and I don't want to be irresponsible with money my whole life. Some people are great at saving from a young age, like my 15 year old sister, others like myself are not so much. Instead of having a goal as 'to save', which is unlikely given the amount I have to live off of from my bursary, tackling the cause of the problem seems like a more sensible and long term goal to reach for!

Have you set goals for 2017? Please link your post below ^_^

Thank-you for reading ♥

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2017 Goals

Hello all! I do apologise for the pretty late post, but I hope you had a great start to 2017🎉. I have been trying to get an assignment done, which is due in a few days so its been a very homey couple of days for me. I also didn't have anything that stood out to me massively that should be a goal for the year, until I sat down and really thought about what I wanted to achieve this year and I managed to six in total.

Reviewing 2016 Goals and Catch-up

Hello everyone! My lost post of every year is a review of the goals I set 10 months ago. However I only set 4 so I'm going to turn this post into a bit of a catchup too. But first the goals:


1. Keep up the gym life
Achieved: No :(

I had bursts of a routine, but honestly since starter my teacher training course I really could not muster up the energy to go. I'm still in two minds about whether I should keep my membership, a huge part of me wants to but I just don't know if I'll end up wasting the money like the past few months. However I know for a fact that working out not only helps with fitness, but also makes one feel a good deal better too...so I think I should give it a really good go in January at least.


2. Reduce my sugar intake.
Achieved: Kinda

Whilst I still eat more sugar than the average 21 year old, I have learnt to say no a lot more this year. I also don't spend a load of money on buying sweets anymore, maybe once a month I'll go all out, but for the most part I don't. Definitely something I'll keep working on in the new year.


3. Managing my time better.
Achieved: Yes

I'm most proud of this because my time management skills throughout uni were appalling. Procrastination is very real (so real that I did my whole dissertation on it!), however learning to manage it and to get through stressful periods in my life was a real high point of the year. Don't get me wrong, I do still put off important things, however it has gotten better and will continue to do so in'sha'Allah (God willing).


4. Spend less time on my phone.
Achieved: Yes

I have definitely gotten out of that obsessive on my phone habit now and it is great! I don't have to post on IG every day, or remember to schedule tweets. When I have time I check my phone, but otherwise I focus on the here a now. A part of the reason for this is because I am no longer a Uni student with lots of spare time. I work long hours, so my remaining time is quite precious and I try to use it wisely.


So I've not done too badly I guess! I do wish I have checked up with my goals around half way, cause its very easy to forget them, but 2016 flew by so fast I really didn't get a chance haha. 2016, though its been a beast of a year for the globe as a whole, has actually been pretty fantastic for me personally. In the most humble and gracious way possible haha. Its the year I wrote my dissertation and got a first for it, sat my final exams in my education, graduated with a 2:1, got onto the teaching course I applied for and became a trainee teacher too. It's been a whole year of challenged, goals and growth and I feel like I've never been so stretched mentally or physically in my life. Graduating was by far the highlight of 2016 for me, so many points in the year I thought I couldn't do it and to finally reach the end, don my hat and gown and walk to stage was the proudest moment of my life. People often belittle a degree, however its only when you've worked extremely hard and gotten through obstacles you couldn't imagine, that you realise how much more meaningful it is that 'just a bit of paper'.

Blogging and ethical beauty
Although I wasn't half as consistent on my blog this year, in comparison to previous I am still proud that I managed to squeeze in time to blog whenever I could. At some points I felt very disheartened that I had next to no time for my blog, but life just gets to busy post graduation and when working full time - seriously hats off to those power bloggers who juggle it all!

This year has been quite unfortunate for those of us who are conscious about where our money goes, whether thats for the protection of animals, or the people of Palestine. Unfortunately both Becca and Too Faced cosmetics were purchased by Estee Lauder, meaning I will no longer be buying from either or talking about them on my blog. A part of me wants to sell the products I have by them too, so do keep an eye on my depop account! Anyway as annoying as it is that yet another brand has gone over to the dark side, like one of my lovely readers said, we should see it as an opportunity to hunt out newer niche brands that are independently owned.

7 month spending ban
2016 is also the year I completed my longest ever spending ban, which was a brilliant experience. I know for a fact that constantly watching Youtube and reading blogs puts me into a mentality, where I feel like I NEED to try a lot of the latest products. However that loooong break of not spending money on makeup allowed me to realise that I don't actually need the makeup, cause I already have more than enough. There is something so wholesome and fulfilling about hitting pan on a makeup item, money well spent and I want 2017 to be the year of lots more pan haha. Part of this is because I no longer have a job, which is another big change for me. Having worked for four years straight and suddenly stopping, as well as not getting a wage every month, despite working even harder than I even have in my whole life....is super difficult. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm gonna keep working hard till I get there.

Anyways i'm keeping it short and sweet because I have a game of uno to win! Hope you all have a fantastic start to the new year, I did plan to have more posts up but I'll have to take it slow and steady - thanks for sticking by my blog and I! Heres to more blog posts, recommendations and heart-to-hearts in 2017 🥂*chinks non-alcoholic drinks*.

Thank-you for reading ♥

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Reviewing 2016 Goals and Catch-up

Hello everyone! My lost post of every year is a review of the goals I set 10 months ago. However I only set 4 so I'm going to turn this post into a bit of a catchup too. But first the goals:

September Update | A month into teacher training

Hello everyone! Happy October to you all 🤗 I do try to put my favourites up on this day, most months, however I've currently lost my camera charger and so photos are on hold. I was a bit behind with my blog anyway and thought I may as-well type up a chatty type of post because I know some of you really enjoy reading these ^_^


So September has been a whirlwind of newness for me. For the first time in 5 years I have had to regularly wake up at 6:30 am Monday-Friday which really was a massive shock to the system. University really kills routine, unless you're on a intense placement heavy course OR you're very disciplined with your time management (which is tough!). I've been at my school for a month now and I've taught four lessons in total with one being observed. The experience has been really exciting, although a little nerve-wracking of course! When you first start working in a school as a trainee you do spend a lot of time observing. I was nervous about my first lesson, but very lucky too because it was on the Quran (an R.E lesson), so I didn't have to do a lot of prep as that's a subject I'm quite familiar with. It actually turned into a bit of a Q&A which I loved, because the children felt comfortable to ask me questions they may have had on their mind but have felt a little unsure about asking before. Especially questions on my hijab haha!

The number of lessons and observations will slowly increase, which is fine with me and I actually find being observed really helpful. I am by hardest critic and once a lesson is over I'm quick to pick up on my mistakes straight away which really isn't the best thing to do. We've been told to note down the positives first and then what we could do better after which is a challenge for me, but it does help. The chat after an observation is great and I know it'll really help me to develop my teaching as the weeks go on.

At this point, aside from the really early starts and long long days, the most challenging part of doing this teacher training is remembering ALL the things that have to be done. Of course we have school responsibilities like lesson planning, being on break duty, taking the children to and from assembly and taking the register. Then we have a lot of objectives to be working towards and for each objective we must obtain evidence and explain how each piece of evidence will impact our training and teaching career. There are also assignments, small from training and one really big one which is towards the PGCE element. So there is a LOT to take in and we have had two training sessions just on time management and how to deal with stress effectively!

The training days - Thursday and Friday I really look forwards too, we have been lucky enough to have some brilliant external trainers, as well as a great base team too. This week we learnt about our personality types and how to steer away from being aggressive/passive/passive aggressive and instead be assertive when need be. I found it really interesting, perhaps because of my psychology background, but I hope I am able to use a lot of what we have been taught in my professional life as well as my personal life too. Two weeks ago we had a brilliant trainer in, who's topic I really wasn't sure about  (phonics, because I didn't think working in KS2 would really involve needing a vast knowledge of the subject!). However she made us all realise that its VERY important, not just whilst the kids are at school, but for the rest of their life. It wasn't just that message, but her vibrant passion for education and her heartwarming personal story, of how a few teachers in her life got her to where she was today - a very successful business woman. It made quite a few of us emotional when she actually thanked us for choosing this path, because teachers don't get thanked enough for dedicating a HUGE amount of their life to the children in their class and wider school.

The rest of September consisted of Eid - which was strange for me because I didn't have a day off for the first time in my life. I definitely could have asked for a day off, but as it was the first day of my second week I didn't want to miss anything. We ended up going out for dinner to a restaurant, which was a whole different experience in itself, but anyway it was nice to spend some time with the family and of course to get dressed up a little. I have really been enjoying playing around with the certifeye glitters, keep a look out for my next favourites as I'll be sharing more there, and I'm getting more confident with applying false lashes too. Teacher training has given me a new found love of the weekends too as I can stay at home all day and just catch up on lack of sleep and my never-ending to-do list - bliss! I also was lucky enough to end a fabulous Lush event, where they shares the halloween and chirstmas collection. I'll have a dedicated post, including a little haul and I'm rather excited to share this with you because I've discovered an easy way to make little Gifs, so expect many hehe.

Have you had a great September? What was your highlight? 

Thank-you for reading ♥

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September Update | A month into teacher training

Hello everyone! Happy October to you all 🤗 I do try to put my favourites up on this day, most months, however I've currently lost my camera charger and so photos are on hold. I was a bit behind with my blog anyway and thought I may as-well type up a chatty type of post because I know some of you really enjoy reading these ^_^

July 2016 Update | Eid, Beauty By Maryam Launch & Graduating!

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing well. July 2016 has probably been the best month of the year for me and I have so much to write in this update!

Eid

On the 6th of July it was Eid Ul Fitr which is the celebration at the end of the month of Ramadan. This year we all went out for lunch rather than have Eid at home and it was such a refreshing change! Usually each family cooks one or two things and then we tend to go to round to one families house and set out all the food. As great as Eid usually is, it was so nice to have a change and after the meal we went to my aunties, played a game of pass the parcel with the kids. I also made sure I had a little more time to do my makeup and used the beautiful Anastasia Beverly Hills MR palette and went for a much more bolder look than I usually would. I am definitely the type of person to stick to my usual look, perhaps switching up the blusher shade or lip colour but not being too adventurous. What can I say, I'm a creature of comfort! But having said that, making such an effort on Eid and really trying to follow tutorials and use colour was such a fun experience and I definitely want to continue. I also wore the most beautiful false lashes which I will be discussing in tomorrows blog post with you all, they're super affordable but look so lovely and fluttery on, I am obsessed. 

Also for prep I got the whole family to do the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay which is essentially the best deep cleansing mask I have ever tried - and 100% natural. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

The Start of Teacher training

Yes that is correct, I have officially started my teacher training and I am SO excited! In the middle of July I attended the induction day and got to meet my fellow trainees, meet the staff and get the whole programme over-view. It's kind of insane that in less than a month I will have began the training and will be preparing for such a full on year and a part of me is very nervous - but theres comes a time where everyone has to stop being a student and transition into a 'real adult'! I thought it was really cool how we were gifted iPad minis to help us with out course. We have some homework to do and a little preparation which I do need to get on with. I am one of those stationary addicts and I am really enjoying organising myself and putting some of the pretty notebooks I already own to good use. It was great to meet with the other trainees, many of whom had decided their corporate job was not for them anymore and they wanted to get into teaching. There were a few like myself who were fresh graduates, pursuing their passion for working with children and there were also a couple of people who had been working as a T.A and already had a lot of classroom experience. The school direct course route for PGCE is very full on but thats kind of why I choose it and I will be doing a dedicated blog post on getting onto the course for those few people who have specifically asked me. If you're interested in reading more about my experiences then do keep an eye out for these monthly posts as I'll add a paragraph each time to catch you up, as well as document it for myself too.

Beauty By Maryam Launch

On the very same day as the teaching induction there was also an exciting beauty launch in London. At first I wasn't going to go, but when I emailed the lovely Maryam (IG here), she was so lovely and said I should come anyway even if I'd miss the first few hours! The event was sooo classy, beautiful decorations, great food and even a bouncer with a guest list, yes I felt very cool. I was gutted that I had to miss the start of the event but it was a pleasure to meet so many lovely ladies who I'd seen on the gram and also see the beautiful 3D silk lashes too! They are so lightweight yet fluttery and I am looking forwards to trying them out soon.

Graduation

And the BEST part of my July simply had to be donning the gown and cap and graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Developmental and Educational Psychology! Three years of hard work lead up to this day and without sounding like a packet of wotsits (or cheetos for those of you across the pond), it was genuinely one of the best days of my life. I didn't even realise how much graduation would mean to me, but I felt incredibly proud and a huge part of that is due to how lovely and supportive my family were. My dad bought me the most beautiful flowers I have ever received and my wonderful grandma (AKA Amijee) came down from London for the ceremony and stayed with us for a week which was amazing. Honestly although I have my post-grad plans in place a small part of me is still in shock that I've done the three years of Uni and come out with a degree! When I was a young teen I had imagined that once I have got to this stage I'd be very different...sophisticated, someone who has a signature scent and always smells good and yes as silly as that may sound that is genuinely what I thoughts haha. I'm not quite this fancy chic that I have described, but looking back to the person I was 3 years ago makes me realise how much I have changed and grown since then. I think the ages 16-21 are years where everyone changes a great deal, but I know going to University is a big part of why I am the person I am today. I genuinely feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to go to University and get on the career path I know I really want to do.

Anyway my eyes are shutting and I am nodding off as I type this, so I'd better stop nattering on!

How was your July?

Thank-you for reading ♥

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